When the News Isn't Fit to Print ... Blog

Mitch Daniels? Sheesh, Republicans Are Stupid!

In Weekly Rant on 18/03/2011 at 20:37

Mitch Daniels is what I call a Bush moderate. He’s just conservative enough not to stand out at a Washington cocktail party. He and Lindsey Graham make a handsome hors d’oeuvre pairing. But that is not why he will never be President.

Let’s face it, call us shallow, but we live in an aesthetical society, and the man just doesn’t have the hair. Jon Bon Jovi, now there’s hair. Wait, I think he’s a Democrat. Well anyway … And Daniels will have to stand on a footstool to shake Barack Obama’s hand during the debates.

Yet he is the darling the Washington conservative intelligentsia. Charles Krauthammer does wheelchair wheelies when anyone mentions his name. Even though Daniels did go to Princeton. Drat! Well, nobody’s perfect.

Okay, seriously, tee hee hee. No, but seriously, why now, when the Republicans are only about halfway through their November landslide victory lap, are they looking at someone like Daniels as their be all, end all to Barack Hussein al Obama’s Black Liberation theocracy? I mean, they have Mitt Romney. He has the height and the hair, and all but 31 of the 12 million Mormons in the U.S. will vote for him. (Those are the members of Jon Huntsman Jr’s family and Glenn Beck.)

Fact is, in 2012, the GOP will need a rock star to beat Barack Obama in a head-to-head race. Hillary probably will not run and that is what it will take for any generic Republican to win. Despite the Fox News 24-7 diatribe against Barry for Washington, his numbers are holding. This is only possible because Jersey Shore fans can vote, but true nonetheless.

Of course the GOP has a rock star. Actually a couple of them but who’s counting. I know, I know, Palin didn’t go to Bryn Mawr or Vassar or … where was it Tucker Carlson went to school? Anyway, even without Palin or Bachmann or Huckabee, in a pinch they have Donald Trump. Now there’s some hair for you.

Okay, now I’ll really be serious.

For 50 years—leaving out the eight glorious years when we had a president who actually knew what to do about Moammar Khadafy—the mainstream GOP has scattered to the wind whenever a true conservative has stepped to the plate. I know, I know, everyone’s a Reagan conservative these days, but the mainstreamers hated him when he was here.

The GOP is either the party of Lincoln and Coolidge and Reagan, or it is something else; they can no longer look to the mainstream rubber-stamp politicos of the past, or the Democrats will eat their lunch.

The Republican Party is loaded with talent who don’t have John Boehner as a FaceBook friend. Sarah Palin has a built-in voting block that can literally derail any candidate who captures the nomination without her blessing. Who knows, if she decides not to run maybe she’ll go with the Midget for Monongahela, but he will not win against Barack Obama. His Healthy Indiana is nothing more than warmed over Romney Care and his stint with the George W. Bush administration was rife with big spending.

And remember the hair.

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