When the News Isn't Fit to Print ... Blog

Jerry Brown: Déjà Vu California Style

In Can You Hear Me Now? on 16/10/2010 at 16:40

Jerry Brown's official California Governor's portrait from his first term


“We have enough wealth to continue to have a great university and get every kid into this school that can qualify. Now when I say every young man and young woman, I mean everyone – whether they are documented or not. If they went to school, they ought to be here.”

I’ve met Jerry Brown several times, actually sat next to him at the Troubadour one night in 1976. Nice guy. Before that, I reminded him, I had been an officer in attendance at an aerospace convention when the Governor gave an enthralling hour-long speech on the future of America in space, without ever once referring to a note. Jerry Brown is a brilliant man.

That is why I’m not in total shock that he will most likely be California’s next governor. While Jerry is a whiz kid Californians are as dumb as stripped lug nuts.

By the way, how’d you like Tom Brokaw in that last debate? Why didn’t they just hire Mikhail Gorbachev? He’s cheaper.

Now, this is big news, because Meg Whitman was believed unstoppable. But Roswell alien abductees are more rational than most California voters. We’d rather smoke our pot and listen to the Grateful Dead than confuse matters by attracting jobs to the state.

In a state that has been arguably hardest hit in the nation by the Obama economy, we are about to elect a man who fought the Jarvis tax revolt tooth-and-nail, telling us it would break the state if homeowners’ taxes were reduced. He is now using a similar argument to knock down Whitman’s proposal to eliminate capital gains.

Let me get this straight: In a national political environ that is ringing “Dump Democrats” like a slightly used bell in Philadelphia, California, the state with the most to lose from liberal idiocy, is about to elect two of the most radically left politicians in the United States? Carly Fiorina may beat Boxer, but only if it comes a gusher and the motor-voter busses break down.

But let’s look a Brown’s track record in his previous incarnation as governor. Three words: Justice Rose Bird. If you are too young to remember Rosie, Google her. Bird overturned virtually every death penalty case that came before her on the California Supreme Court. Then there’s Cesar Chavez. This was the defining moment when Californians rolled over and played dead on illegal entry into this country. California food prices went up 20 percent after Chavez (with Brown’s support) organized the United Farm Workers.

To be fair, Whitman has brought this on herself. She left herself open on illegal immigration, and supports the same tired old Bush plan to rubber stamp those that are here.

But, while Brown is for legalizing anyone who steps across the border for ten minutes to drop a baby, he can’t seem to come to a decision as to whether Fresno County farmers like comedian Paul Rodriguez should have water for their crops. He is apparently concerned, as are Nancy Pelosi, Diane Feinstein and Barbara Boxer, about a freaking sand dobber in the California Delta. And Brown will support every whacko green idea the Obama Administration has to offer and come up with more of his own.

Now for the good news: Dykes on Dykes, better known as NOW, is for him.

Jerry Brown campaigns cleverly—as I said he is brilliant—but the truth remains that it is precisely his policies during his previous stint as governor that drove California into the financial crisis it endures today.

How bad off is California, you ask? Suffice to say it is about to make the United Nations Relief Agency most needy list, right after Burkina Faso and Burundi.

If you pray, do so now. While you’re at it, do a Hail Mary lap around the beads for Whitman, as well.

Republicans and conservatives can beat Jerry Brown on November 2, if they will get out and vote. Democrats are notoriously lazy voters and they will not turn out, if Brown maintains his lead in the polls.

But if my old buddy Jerry wins, buckle your seatbelts.

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