TUCSON, Ariz. (AP) – Jared Lee Loughner, the accused gunman in the attempted assassination of Rep. Gabrielle Giffords and the deaths of six innocent bystanders in Tucson, worked for NBC last summer during the Tea Party uprisings in Phoenix and Tucson. Loughner wounded 12 others in the attack.
While management at NBC’s New York offices have not responded to calls from the Associated Press this morning, sources close to the FBI investigation into the Arizona shooting say Loughner was a “gofer-type” employee whose primary duties included helping camera operators and sound technicians in the Phoenix/Tucson area.
“We all thought Jared was so cool,” said one NBC employee speaking on condition of anonymity. “He did a spot-on impersonation of George Soros.” The employee, who described herself as an associate producer/La Raza executive board member, said Loughner left his job at the network because of what he described as a “media conspiracy to improperly conjugate verbs.”
FBI sources say that the alleged gunman is not cooperating with investigators, but that he has asked them to deliver a message to NBC vice president in charge of cable programming. NBC management refused to reveal the contents of the message, but anonymous sources have informed AP that the alleged gunman was disturbed with MSNBC’s coverage of the shooting and with Keith Olbermann’s grammar.
There is no evidence to suggest that Loughner was tied to an alleged MSNBC plot to kill members of congress and pin them on Sarah Palin and Rush Limbaugh, but tension has been running high at the NBC cable news outlet over flagging ratings.
We thought that, since the liberal media is creating news out of whole cloth to capture ratings, that we would try it. Our apologies to the Associated Press and NBC for using their trademarks in posting this blog. You guys can take a joke, right?
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Okay, okay! It was a metaphor.